Shhh.... Don't wake the babies

 

It is amazing what you can sneak in and do when the babies are sleeping! Specifically use a flash and a loud shutter click.

I love watching them sleep. So calm and peaceful. Because there are times that the entire day is a running race of screaming, crying and me pulling out my hair. But at the end of the day, there is nothing that makes me happier than being their mother, and my heart is full because of it. 

In my head for a moment

Saw this on a couple of blogs and I thought I would try it since I just had my 28th birthday.

Eating:
Just had a smoothie made of frozen banana, milk, cocoa powder and honey with a slice of wheat bread with strawberry jam on it.

Watching:
Bubble Guppies, per my kids' request.

Working on:
10 year high school reunion, preparing for leaving to Washington in 8 days to help my sister recover from a serious knee surgery, shampooing carpets and keeping the kids quiet downstairs while my husband sleeps a few more hours from working all night.

Craving:
A vacation outside of the U.S. I have only been to Oregon, Washington, California, Idaho, Utah and Montana/Wyoming (Last two are just over the border for camping/tourist towns) and a corner of Arizona on our way to Disneyland. My husband lived in England for two years and I am jealous because I think a little English cottage in the country side sounds dreamy to me....

Thinking:
I have a lot of organizing to do but need to buy stuff for it. This is specifically what I have in mind, just have to find the stuff to do it with. I love this blog and look at her projects OVER AND OVER.
That I really want to buy a house to make my own but just not in the cards right now.
My husband is really amazing for my birthday gift on Wednesday. He did what I asked of him. I wanted him to do all the cooking and cleaning, including one load of laundry. This was a big deal since the last time was just over 2 years ago when Lilly was a newborn. When I talked to my sister she asked what I was doing, I said nothing. She was shocked until I explained. It was amazing.

Wanting:
To get off the last 26 pounds of unwanted weight. This may not sound like too much for some, but I am 5 feet tall. It might as well be 50. I do exercise, running is my true outlet. But I have to control my eating and it's hard when your home all day... The biggest thing is I just needed to move towards a clean eating diet (or as close to it as possible) for my family. If we are all doing it, it will be easier doing the same diet for us all instead of one for the kids/husband and one for me. (Which I have done, you crash and burn in my opinion/experience).
A house of my own.
A little something with 10 fingers and 10 toes, squishy cheeks and compact in size. A baby! Hoping to be holding one by fall of next year. My husband was on board after some persuasion, but said he wanted a couple of other things taken care of first. I do not plan on being past 30 having my last child. 

Looking forward to:
Enjoying my last two years in my twenties. I want to enjoy/take advantage of them and go out with a bang. I hear you really feel more confident in yourself in your 30's.
Seeing my family in Washington for over a week!
A family reunion at the end of July.

Reading:
Pottery Barn Decor books from 10 years ago. They have like 5 or 6, got them at my library (which I dream of having in my home) and love them.

Contemplating:
Closing down my shop next month due to lack of orders. I had a set budget of what I was allowed to spend to start out and can't spend more and get more products in it until I have revenue coming in. And there is only so much I can continue with after my month to month costs. It is heart breaking but reality and I have excepted it as a possibility. I have sent a couple of things off to some blogs and we will see where it takes us.

Feeling:
Blessed. I have a strong, hard working husband who makes it possible for me to be with our children everyday. For healthy children. For my son who wakes up early and cuddles me in my bed, a daughter who is sitting by me now because she needs to be close to me. She follows me everywhere. Most of the time I like it. We have a comfortable life and while there are things I want (shoes, clothes, a career sometimes for my own for self fulfillment, house, baby, a Monday-Friday/8-5 job for my husband, and a weekly date night where I have to dress up) I know that these things are just wants, and I have all I could ever need. And I love that.

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May Flowers Bring New Living Rooms

I love flowers. Everyone loves flowers. But I love flowers in my house. When we were first married I used to get flowers for the kitchen every couple of weeks. 

Somewhere along the line I stopped buying them. Steve gets me some for Mother's Day, Anniversaries and my birthday. But our "Snowball Bush" (I have no idea what the technical term is) is in full bloom in the backyard and I just had to have some of the beauty in the house. 

It renewed a style sense in me that I had long forgotten about with two toddlers taking over our home. So I rearranged overhauled my living room and pulled out the cutest white ceramic mug to put my snowballs in. 

(Now I really realize how much I need to paint the table they are on, I digress...)

And needless to say for the first time in a long time, I sat in our reading chair by my flowers last night and read. Something else that I have not done in awhile. And every few pages I turned and looked at my flowers, smiled and felt at ease, and kept reading. 

I think I may start my flower tradition back up because how can you not look at these and be happy? Now go out and cut some greens/flowers from your yard or buy some. You will probably never regret it.

Bethany

Making Baby #3 is GO!

After months and months of begging, dropping hints, poking and threats, my husband finally gave me the okay to have my IUD taken out so we can try for baby number 3!!!!

As many as my family/friends know, I only wanted 2 kids. But now that I have two I really just want one more. I see an infant and I just want to take them in my arms, smell their hair, kiss their fingers and spend hours with them. That is how I know I need/want another. Women that are done having kids will want to hold them for a few minutes and then give them back.

My husband used to want four! Then I talked him down to two. Then when I said three, he fought me because he had it in his mind that he would have two. And because of his crazy work schedule, he was worried about giving each child the love and attention they needed. I told him that isn't an issue.

Then the other day he said, "If you need another baby to be happy, we can have another." Smiling I said, "I don't need another baby to be happy, we have a fantastic life with the two that we have, but I know that another baby would add to that."

So next month on the 14th at my yearly Gyno appointment, I am going to have my fantastic doctor take out my IUD. It will probably take at least 6 months to get pregnant, and just the kind of person I am, I do not want to be 30 having a baby. (No offense to those that have) I will be 28 next month so a baby for my 29th birthday would be amazing! The biggest reason I don't think I would pull out too much hair? Isaiah would be 4 and Lilly would be 3 if I didn't have a baby until sometime after their Spring birthdays. I fell that is a great pacing. (Typing it though makes me realize how big they are getting)

My excitement over what will be happening soon is over the moon and I can't wait to feel a little life in my body again. More so to hold one.

I know that children are a blessing and commandment from God. And women I look up to and admire have at least that many AND work, I think I can handle three and being home.

Cheers to my upcoming pregnancy! (For those that know me, I am blessed with getting pregnant easily and am so grateful for it. My heart TRULY goes to those who struggle with it because I cannot the pain that can come from wanting a child and not being able to have one)

Sending a Note

Sending a handwritten note is something I am known for. I love how personal it feels compared to tapping on a keyboard. I may be old-fashioned, but I have a almost giddy smile across my lips every day when I walk to my mailbox. Yes, everyday. Which is probably why my hand written diary that weighs more than a newborn sees more attention sometimes than my blog. 

Let someone you know/love/miss feel good with just a quick "Hello!" and a stamp. 

Find this cute note card set in Chartreuse or Beet with white card here at Dot the I Boutique!

Babies aren't "babies" at 2....

Holding Papa Barrow's hand at her party, with Isaiah to the left

Saturday at her birthday party at the park

Under a year! First time being able to give her a pony tail!

Last year at the start of summer, how she has grown

My Lilly girl turned 2 today! She is such a sweet darling that keeps me laughing more than I could imagine. She is so specific and has to have everything in place or she is isn't satisfied. She cannot have a treat, toy or prize without her bubb-ey, her brother, not having one as well. She is still a blanket baby and loves to bring one to me and sit in my lab while she plays. It melts my heart every time. And she follows me throughout the house each day and I love having a mini me by my side.

Lilly Elaine I love you so and just can't get enough of the sweet little girl you are turning into, just don't do it too fast. Actually, we could slow down just a little....

Momma

My Treasure

Brooklyn's Playground

Brooklyn's Playground

Another use for Target popcorn at the lake

Easter morning waiting for "The Hunt', got there 2 hours early

Easter morning waiting for "The Hunt', got there 2 hours early

Easter afternoon with family/enjoying the sunshine together

 

Matthew 6:21 says "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Sometimes it is hard to stay focused on what really matters because of trying to do it all. This scripture spoke to me last night as a reminder of where my priorities are and what my true treasure is in life. First, God and his son Jesus Christ, Second, my husband Steve, Third, my beautiful children.

Bethany

Thoughts on Motherhood

Growing up I never wanted to be a SAHM (stay at home mom). I wanted to have a career that at some point or another allowed me to be self employed. I also didn't want to have any kids until I was at least 27. I had two kids by that age, and when my 3 year old was 9 months old and the week after Christmas 2010, I woke to be a mom instead of getting on my slacks and doing my hair/makeup. 

I honestly felt like I was on a vacation with my baby, an extra long one. Then reality set in a couple weeks later and I realized that changing my clothes every time they got dirty was a waste of time and that my growing bump with little number 2 made it that only my husband's pajama bottoms were comfortable. (Which he still blames me for being stretched out). And just 2 short weeks after that my husband was laid off for two and a half months. I blamed myself for giving up benefits, a steady paycheck and an occasional bonus.

But can I say that I have NEVER regretted being home with my kids. But it's hard sometimes. For instance:

-I usually eat standing up at the counter, because I get so tired of my daughter taking food from my plate and saying that it is hers, putting it in her mouth and spitting it back out on my plate. Unfortualy my body does not realize when my husband is home I guess and I do it at dinner and he asks why I am not eating with the family. 

-I never have a clean shirt on if I am in 10 feet of my kids. This includes date night. My husband has a crazy schedule and sometimes he says "Let's go" and I have 10 minutes to get dressed or we have something planned and he is super late and I have to feed the kids dinner and somehow not get it on me. (Impossible if your wondering)

-I get yelled at if I turned on a show for myself when my kids are awake. 

-Going to the bathroom with the door shut is a luxury I am only allotted twice a week. That's a good week. 

-I miss waking up on a Saturday morning with nothing to do except what I want. Not having to cook for anyone or dress anyone but myself. 

Count to think of it I miss having what is called a Saturday, doesn't apply anymore really.

-I never sit for long because my son needs help getting his pants off in time to make it to the potty without an accident and my daughter is in the beginning stages of potty training. When one goes, the other does. But then there is a sippy to find. And the darn toy....

And the biggest thing of all is I miss having a reason to get dressed and be pretty and not have a kid or two climbing all over me.

I informed my husband that this date night every 3 months, sometimes less, is not cutting it. I can't wait unitl my son goes to preschool this fall and I just have one kid for 2 hours a couple days a week. I also can't wait for a year and a half from now when my daughter goes too and it's just me. 

And then there's the fact that I ask my husband for another baby, just one more, at leats twice a week. I love being with my kids, but sometimes I feel like there is nothing I can do that is meaningful. And then I WATCH THIS VIDEO and have more peace with it all. And I go on to another day of holding my kids whenever I want to, stealing kisses, having a messy house, a stain on me somewhere and a confirmation that at the end of the day I am doing God's work. 

Family Vacation

Two weeks ago we took our big vacation for the little family down to Utah. It only took 3.5 hours to get there so it was as my husband called it, "halfsies staycation". We needed/wanted to a vacation on a budget and easily traveled with our two toddlers. So we put 'Jake and the Neverland Pirates' in their dvd screens and away we went. It was four jam-packed days of fun, tears, tamtrums and new adventures.
(I don't have a lot of photos becuase the rest are on my actual camera and I can't find the cord to hook it up, plus my phone takes better pictures 99.9999999% of the time)

Day one was spent driving down and snacking the whole way. We arrived at Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake and spent a few hours walking the grounds and screaming for a multitude of animals. Lilly's favorite was a giant seal that was blind. He was as big or even a little bigger than a sedan and just swam in circles in a large viewing tank. She loved him! We spent a good 30 minutes just on him!
Then we saw the Polar Bear and Isaiah could not get enough of him. This giant entertainer would push off of the bottom of his tank and jump up right in front of the viewing pane and rise from the water and stroke backwards and then dive down to do it again. Another 30 minutes went by.... 

We celebrated Isaiah's 3rd at Chuck E Cheese's and Lilly could not get off of this merry go round horse thing. Literally we put in 20+ coins. They had a blast to say the least running around like orange soda spiked, fruit snacked filled crazy children with an almost unlimited amount of tokens. When we finally left, it had been two and a half hours and Steve and I were exhausted,  beyond what we could ever imagine.

That evening after dinner, Steve allowed me to go to Ikea by myself.... enough said. I actually reined in my spending and after I got home wondered why I didn't buy a few items I had wanted. Then I realized it would have been another $100 and blown our budget. Plus Steve was happy on my total.

Day 2 was spent in the beautiful Temple Square. I had been to the Salt Lake Temple when I was really young with my family to pick up my sister from her mission from the airport there. She served in Italy and the best way to pick her up was there. I don't remember a thing except when I ate a peice of candy during a tour and spite it out. It tasted so bad and the part I remember the most is my other sister yelling at me infront of everyone and made me pick it up out of the flower patch it landed.

We went through the visitor's center and walked around the Temple. Crashed a few wedding photos trying to get away. We headed over to the Church History Muesum and it was amazing! Although we didn't really get to spend any time outside of the children's exhibit with hands on activities. After an hour we realized it was 2 hours past lunch time...

We headed to the newer mall in Salt Lake, City Creek Mall and had lunch and some of the best shopping in ages! Steve bought me a beautiful Coach wallet as a surprise, that I picked out because he didn't actually know which one I had wanted, just the price I had told him ages ago.

Salt Lake Temple

We rode the Utah Trax Train from our hotel in Sandy to SLC for fun and Isaiah loved it!

Lilly could care less....

Friday we went to an aquarium and literally ran in circles for awhile. A long while.

Followed by more shopping at some outdoors stores and the Dinosaur Museum in Lehi. Isaiah was so scared we had to rush through, it being the most expensive site we went too... but in the end he loved it because they could dig for all the dinosaur bones they wanted.

From there we went to Provo and spent the next day with my best friend and her husband. Steve and Mat went shooting and Jen and I had breakfast and hit up Target and Cocoa Bean cupcake cafe. Our usual. We like to repeat what works for us. And I don't know what I would do without this girl, seriously. Plus we went through her clothes she didn't want and I came home with a huge bag of stuff from Jen-ymart!

We headed home and somehow wondered why the kids only slept for a half hour each in the car. We got home on Saturday around 7. Origionally we were going to stay until Sunday but the kids were not sleeping well and we were so tired and out of patience that we almost pulled over to take a nap. We opted out of church the next day to catch up on sleep and get the littles back on their schedule.

It was a great trip overall, and Isaiah and Lilly really loved it. Momma needs a bit of a vacation now though....

My Boutique

It's been a little while since I have blogged. I do hope to catch up soon but to be honest I have found true inspiration writing in my hand written journal. I suppose I feel more at ease to talk about what inspires me, my dreams/goals and blessings the Lord has so very graciously given me in the confines of two hard covers. I will get better at this, I promise!

But currently my time has been taken up by the start of my website. (very surreal to write those words) I have started an online boutique called Dot the I Boutique. FInd it Right Here and tell me what you think! 

For now it is small and my hope for it is to grow surely and steadily over the year. My hope is that people will find something there to brighten their space at home or at the office, and even gift these items to those around them. 

As always, thank you for reading and the best weekend to you! The sun is out and bright and is rather inspiring. 

Warm regards, Bethany

I can write, can't I?

Have you ever wondered how people get chosen to write in magazines (print or online) or guest post on larger blogs? No? I have. I always thought it would be fun to write a small piece in a parenting or adoption magazine. (I was adopted at age 5)

I recently found a website that is all about Freelance Writing. This is how magazines, blogs and websites find their writers. And they get paid for it; if and only if their piece is accepted. Which it seems to me that you could turn in 10 pieces to hopefully get published and not one would be used. And I have seem articles from authors that explain how they are freelancers and money is tight and the next writing job is few and far between. But they love it.

I am not saying I am the next "How To Girl" off of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days by any stretch of the imagination, but I think I am going to dive into the "freelancing" gig and see where it takes me. I have always enjoyed writing in my journal and look forward to it. And if you were to go through my blog you wouldn't see anything extra ordinary. But I do have a goal to write something that someone wants to read.

Why? One, because honestly I feel like a caved in bear sometimes with my little cubs and my only out for air would be sending a piece of printed something to an editor. And two, it gives me a hope and goal to have for myself. We all need goals, dreams and hopes. We would starve emotionally if it were not for them.

I am also in the process of writing a Chick-Lit book for young moms my age. I am channeling my love for Sophie Kinsella in hopes of constant inspiration. Do I think it will be a best seller? No. I have no formal training. Do I think I will love it no matter if someone never publishes it? Yes. In my senior semesters of college I still took dusty old books off the shelves at the school library to research topics for papers. There is something about a book that is familiar and comforting when you crack the spin and dive in. It's nothing like a laptop, nook or tablet. And I find them attractive to home decor on a book case or standing with cover about face on a shelf in a place of honor. (Which I do in my home)

So here's to the New Year and my first goal of 2013. Cheers!