I discovered the hospital I was born at while re-doing my pre-adoption photo album recently. I sent off to have my and my birth mother's medical records sent to me. I have very limited information and my parents thankfully have been 100% honest with me with the little bit they have.
It was hard in a way because I only had her first name and a approximate age. I considered all the factors of if she took back her maiden name, she had been married at least once and the age I knew she was when she gave birth. I used my social security number for myself assuming on that being a for sure bet to find at least what was in there about me.
No luck. I waited with excitement and nervousness for about 3 weeks and then totally forgot about it. Which I figured was because I was getting ready for the baby and putting my time and energy into Isaiah. It took about 5 weeks and the hospital was not able to find any records. It had probably just been too much time or it was the wrong hospital.
So I came to realization that maybe I do not need to know what my medical history was/is. Of course it would be great to know, but at this point I already have a healthy baby and another on the way.
WHAT ON EARTH AM I SCARED OF? I can live a perfectly fantastic life with my husband and children without knowing that information. Yes, at times it would be great to know where I came from, but what really matters is what I do with my family with what I have.
Someday I may try to look again, but for now and for the first time in my life, I am satisfied with not knowing.
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