Playing House

Everyone has the happy memories when they were a child, playing with their best friend. Running around together and playing house. Having treasure hunts in the backyard. Tea parties and sleep overs. You can't help but think about those days and adventures with a smile and get lost in your own thoughts.

For me, those memories take me to a girl named Jackie. She was my childhood best friend that I could not live without. My mother ran a daycare for almost 30 years, and Jackie had been there since she was 6 weeks old. When her little sister came along a few years later, my mother cared for her too until we moved 45 minutes away when I was 9. 

I was 5 when I was adopted, Jackie was almost 4. My first day with my new family, all the daycare kids were there, playing in a swimming pool. I saw Jackie first. I couldn't help but stare at her. She had pretty squinty eyes, sleek and straight black hair, and her skin was a beautiful tan. She seemed so different than everyone else. I found out later she was half white and half Korean, her mother being adopted from Korea as a child. I always viewed it as a bragging right I guess, having a beautiful "foreign" best friend.

We always looked forward to the summer time get togethers. Our families were so close. Her family was my extended family. When my sister Kim was engaged, Jackie's mother, Dixie, threw her a bridal shower. And when I was 12, I went on a week long trip with her to visit extended family in Idaho. (Not knowing that someday I would end up there)

In high school we saw less and less of each other and talked even scarcer than that. She attended my high school graduation in 2003 and I moved to Idaho to attend college. A few years later I saw her on a trip home and our differences were astounding. We had not only grown apart, but grown up as well. In two different directions no less. We were young and finding ourselves. 

In 2007 when I was getting ready to be married, I asked Jackie to be my Maid of Honor. Because of the weekend it was, Easter, she was not going to be able to make it. But I could not imagine anyone else because we had shaped so much of eachother's lives from early on. Anything happy as a child, I could relate to her. When I had a trials as a teenager in my family, she was there. She held me up. 

The week before my wedding I dropped my cell phone in a puddle of water, losing all of the phone numbers I had, since I had not written them down. One being Jackie's. That was 5 years ago. 3 years ago her mother, Dixie, a second mother to me in my mind, attended my sister's marriage to her second husband and we talked for what seemed like forever. I asked so many questions about her. And she was doing great and going to school and working. Just like me. Only I was married. 

Through the last few years I constantly wanted to find a way to contact her but did not have her number. I did not ask her mother for her number out of worrying about having an akward silent conversation with someone I thought I would no longer be able to connect with. I constantly searched for her on MySpace (back when it first started) and then onto Facebook. I could never find her. 

Last week, I was catching up on my DVRed shows and waiting for a somewhat boring evening after putting the kids to bed. Just then, my husband came running down the stairs with my cell phone. "It's Jackie." "What? Who?" "Your best friend from when you were a kid!". He threw me the phone and in the bewilderment of the moment I looked at the number first, in half belief. It was an Oregon area code. "Hello?"

We had a wonderful, reconnecting half hour conversation. We both admitted we had not wanted to drift apart, but it seems to be a part of life. So many times she wanted to pick up the phone but assumed the number she had for me was no longer mine (but it was). I had been trying to find her online for so long but she did not have a Facebook. (But opened one the next day). She had just been married this last September and was having a reception this coming September at her one year anniversary and wanted my address and would truly love for me to make it. As well as my siblings and parents. Children are not invited but mine would be allowed to make sure I come. I was touched. 

I look forward to the new relationship we are going to form. The reason why we stayed friends for so long when we were younger is because we had a connection. That connection is still there, we just need to build a new foundation for it. I am truly happy for where she is in life and can not wait to meet her husband. But it shows that those times I wanted to get a hold of her, I probably could have found a way. Then I start to think of the time we have lost and the bonding we could have had in that time, but I just remind myself that moments like we had come when they are needed. 

It made for a not so boring evening and gave me a little something extra to look forward to in the fall. But more so, it gave me my childhood friend back.

Bethany